What Does Compassion Look Like?

My husband and I have it down to a science. Whenever I bring up something I'm struggling with--whether it's kids, work, family, whatever--he listens for a good long time, nods his head, then pauses. Then he says, "Do you want me to just be a listener right now? Or would you like some ideas and solutions?" Then I say "the first one."

It is always the first one. Or maybe, it's the first one and he listens and responds sensitively, and then we move on to ideas and solutions.

#LentUnedited confession: it wasn't always this way between us. It took MANY frustrating conversations over years until we finally came to the understanding that what we most often need from one another is to sit with each other in the struggle, just a partner to be together with in the mess.

I think that's what we all really need. Sure, we need ideas, solutions, quick fixes, and encouragement. But what I believe most of us are longing for most of the time when we share our vulnerable selves with each other is for someone to say, "I hear you struggling. I'm walking beside you through it."

That's compassion. That's Jesus on the cross. In the Christian faith, we proclaim a God who suffers alongside us. And if the Holy suffers, then our suffering is holy too. How comforting it is to know that we have a God so intimate, so involved with human suffering.

But how do we, as a community, do this for each other? Especially on social media? What does compassion look like on Facebook and Twitter?

I've seen some friends be incredibly brave on Facebook over the last three days of #lentunedited. Everything from sharing a picture of a messy bedroom to admitting the loss of a job. The admissions themselves are incredible.

But how we respond is where we can really change the game. We can respond to one another by saying, "please, my bedroom is way messier than THAT," and "don't worry! Things are going to be ok!"

OR we can respond by saying:

I'm here for you
I've been there

I hear you struggling
I imagine that must be so difficult
I will walk with you through this
You're in my thoughts
You're in my prayers

When someone shares a vulnerability, that is our best opportunity for connection. And the best kind of connection we can make is one that's based in compassion. Thank you, Lent Unedited participants, for building a community of compassion in this unlikely place.